My friend self criticism paid a visit today
Convinced me to open the door and welcome her in
Said I needed her to get the best out of my play
Said she would help me win.
So I let her in and called her friend
She started off polite and wiped her shoes on the rug before coming in
Then slowly began to pick apart my house from end to end
She made me question my space and at myself I cringed
She stayed too long and I tried to kick her out
Instead she put her feet up and wouldn’t stop talking
My joy and my smile slowly turning to a pout
And my body nervously rocking
I doubted every thing I thought I knew
I’m unworthy, I suck, I’m terrible at everything
I tried to fight for what I had heard to be true,
But her voice was so loud and each word left a sting
Right before I thought maybe I’d give up my house and run away
I heard another knock and panic filled my mind.
I stepped over her legs and walked toward the entryway
Exhausted and fearful of someone else coming to add to the self-inflicting crime.
But to my surprise the person seemed like they could make her leave faster
He looked familiar but I couldn’t quite remember his name
So I let him in even though the last time I did this it was a disaster
And immediately he rivaled her dominance in this brutal game
All of a sudden it sounded like I had cotton in my ears,
I could no longer make out the syllables coming from her mouth
I think she was shouting out my fears and telling me to compare myself to my peers?
But her words were losing power and no longer pulling me south
He put her feet on the ground and started walking toward the door,
She couldn’t fight or resist so she just yelled all through my home
I started to feel a warm stream running through my core
Her voice got smaller and smaller as I was finally left alone.
He locked the door behind her and walked over to where I was standing
He asked why I let her stay for such a long while
I told her she tricked me by not seeming too demanding,
And instead of anger across his face I saw a compassionate smile
He said he understood and his presence made me feel safe
The air in the room was no longer heavy and of her there was not a trace
I finally asked what his name was and thanked him for being so brave
And as he opened his mouth to respond, I suddenly remembered he goes by Grace.